‘Twas the Night Before Christmas – WWE Edition
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the arena
Not a wrestler was stirring, not even John Cena;
The stockings were hung by the ring with care,
In hopes that St. Roddy would soon would be there;
The wrestlers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Championships danced in their heads;
The arena was silent with nary a peep,
The entire WWE roster were all fast asleep,
A noise got the attention by those who awake they did stay,
Who sprang from their beds? Your Boys – The New Day!
To investigate, they were off and were there in a jiffy,
Kofi, Big E and Xavier all looked quite spiffy.
The moonlight lit up all of the freshly fallen snow
Kofi looked around and simply yelled, “HELLO!”,
Suddenly they were joined by GM’s, Baron and #Paige,
They all came to see what was all the rage.
When through their eyes, with blurry sleepy distortion
They saw a sleigh and all eight Horsemen
With a very stoic driver, so clean-shaven and neat,
They knew it was St. Roddy – This is all TOO SWEET!
More rapid than The Dudleys, his Horsemen they came,
And he yelled, and shouted, and called them all by name;
“Now, DUSTY! now, VADER! now, PERFECT and MACHO!
On, ANDRE! on ANVIL! on, WEASEL and CHAVO!
To the top of the ring! To the top of the hall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As the rubbish in the lot; like a hurricane did fly,
When the Horsemen met with an obstacle, they would mount to the sky,
So up to the arena-top St. Roddy they did take,
With a sleigh full of toys, Jolly Ranchers and Pancakes.
And all of a sudden, the woken wrestlers heard something on the roof
The slightest of footsteps that sounded quite aloof.
One by one, the wrestlers awoke, and all looked around,
Down the chimney came St. Roddy, landing without a sound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his kilt,
And found that the wrestlers left him cookies and milk;
A bundle of toys he was ready to give,
And his hair was just like it was from the movie ‘They Live’.
His eyes covered by sunglasses! His smile full of fun!
He was here to give away presents, and was all out of bubble gum!
His smile was cocky, as if he was ready for a show;
And his ‘HOT ROD’ shirt was as white as the snow;
Out of his leather jacket with care, a RAW script he took,
The wrestlers did stare at St. Roddy with awe,
Even The Riott Squad couldn’t believe what they saw.
St. Roddy was tall, muscular and cut,
R-Truth giggled when he saw him, and softly said, “WHUT?”;
St. Roddy gave a smile and a shake of his head,
Letting the wrestlers know there was nothing to dread;
He said not a word, going straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; while continuing to smirk,
He pointed his finger up towards the roof,
Then disappeared with some smoke and in a plume went ‘POOF!’
He sprang into his sleigh, to his Horsemen he gave a shout,
And away they all went – PEACE they were out !
When away he did go, the wrestlers heard him exclaim something clever,
WWE – THEN, NOW AND FOREVER!
Based on the Poem, ‘’Twas the Night Before Christmas’ by Clement Clarke Moore